Things You Would Never Hear on
by Cammy Girl
Summary: Hee, this is funny stuff. Probably the only good thing I can do! This is a collection of TYWNHO...hope you enjoy and laugh at my idiocy
1. Default Chapter

Things you would never hear on Fushigi Yuugi  
  
Tamahome: I have a confession everyone! (Everyone turns to him) I.I.am a feminist.. (Miaka faints)  
  
Tasuki: Dude, make love not war! (Holds up the peace sign)  
  
Chichiri: I prefer pink over most colors, no da!  
  
Nuriko: I am so.a man! I just like wearing lingerie! (Tasuki gets a nosebleed)  
  
Nakago: I need to get the 'patch.'  
  
Yui: Sugar for President!! (Runs around in a shirt that says 'sugar rulz')  
  
Miaka: Screw the Suzaku seven! Let's go to Vegas baby!  
  
Suboshi + Amiboshi: (In air-head accent) Like, we're, like, totally twins!  
  
Tomo: To be.or not to be? (Holds up a skull) That.is THE question!!  
  
Yui: The Seiryu seven is really boring, they need alittle spice up in here!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome- AHH! (Trips into the lake while they were talking on a cliff) (No wait? I apologize!! That might happen on Fushigi Yuugi so.forget that one kay?)  
  
Mitsukake: CAT FOOD!!! (Runs after Tama the cat with a butchers knife!) Tama: Mroooooow! (HELP!)  
  
Chiriko: School sucks! I need more money!  
  
Miaka: Screw you Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Lalalalala.. (prances in the flowers)  
  
Tasuki: Baby bye, bye, bye!  
  
Hotohori: The people can get another guy to be the emperor, I need a life.  
  
Nuriko: You.are.so beautiful! To meeeeieeeee! (Chichiri inches away from him)  
  
Nakago: I am gay! Hear me roar!  
  
Tasuki: Let all your troubles go.and fly with meeee!  
  
Miaka: Think of a happy thought then jump off the highest cliff.  
  
Tamahome: *burp* It wasn't me! (The song from Shaggy's 'it wasn't me' song comes on and everyone trips)  
  
Mitsukake: I don't think.I.I am so confused! (Throws the bottle on the ground and pouts) Tama: Mrow meow mrow wrow meow ow! (Translation: It's okay Mitskake! I know you suck at healing but there's a bigger fish to fry than this!) Mitskake: Thank you Tama, I need that. *Sniff*  
  
Chichiri: I do not suppose it comes in a size 10 right? (Holds up the dress) I need it for something, no da! Salesperson: Sorry, you don't happen to be a transsexual right? Chichiri: Gack, no da!  
  
Nuriko: I wish.. *trip*  
  
Miaka: Screw you Tamahome! Tasuki's the one for me! Tasuki: NO I'M NOT!!!  
  
(Note: Me.Cammy Girl. I like Tasuki and Miaka doesn't have a chance so she better keep with Tamahome.thank you for listening! Ps. Jessie likes Hotohori.her pen name is Gelise)  
  
Hotohori: Miaka? Miaka who?  
  
Tasuki: I LOVE WOMEN!!  
  
Chiriko: Toys? Sure, I have tons. (This was written from somebody else. Not me! I'd feel to embarrassed to do so!)  
  
Nakago: Always act upon your emotions.. (Phrase from GW by Heero Yuy)  
  
Soy: I never knew.I never knew.I NEVER KNEW!!! My name meant a sorta salty sauce.I'm so ashamed. (Buries her head in her arms)  
  
Suzaku: I will lend you my hol- my hol- my holy p-p-p-ower an- and-! I'm so tongue-tied. Summon me in a few hours, kay?  
  
Seiryu: *evil cackle* Mwuhahahahaha!! I'm bluuuuuuue!  
  
Genbu: Duuuude, I'm orange.no wait?  
  
Tasuki: I'm a mountain critter whaddya expect.I can screw like a mountain critter too! (Tamahome cracks up and falls over) (I apologize once more.this was done by another person.not me!)  
  
Tamahome: Here everyone! Money for you, money you, money for you!  
  
Tasuki: I am the Queen of the thieves!  
  
Nakago: I am the Lord of the Chickens! (Starts doing the funky chicken)  
  
Yui: Monkeys!!!!!!  
  
Chichiri: Is okay I gotta spare!! *Rips off the mask that was pealing off* Miaka: Freak!!  
  
Nuriko: Somewhere!!! Over the.RAINBOW!!! Way up d'ere! There's a land! Where I've heard of!!! Under the.er.. (Laughs) I forgot! Chichiri: Okay enough! I'm a nice guy but enough is enough ya know! (Hits Nuriko with some sleeping gas) To be continued.if I ever get to it!! (I'm lazy) 


	2. Things You Would Never Hear on Fushigi Y...

This is what you all asked for right? Here it is! Things you would never hear on Fushigi Yugi 2.if you ask me I bet they do say this stuff while not on the set! (Goes on and starts typing more)  
  
Tasuki: One time, I was like, in a hole.and like, I couldn't get out. And then.I like yelled.' help' but like, no one came.and then I like was hungry. Then, I tried to eat my way out, but it was all dirt, and I don't like dirt! (Silence) It's true!  
  
Chiriko: WE GOTTA SAVE THE CHICKENS! (Runs around with his arms up in the air and runs around in circles)  
  
Tamahome: (Watching the Fairly Odd-Parents) I want my own Fairy Godparents!! It's not fair!! (Starts whining)  
  
Nuriko: Ohhhh, what does this button do? (Pulls on a rope and Mitskake falls down from the sky) Ohhhh, that's what this button does.  
  
Miaka: I say we make up our own group and name! (scribblescribble) Holds up a sing that says. ' Suzaku Seven up for hiring super-heroes!' Tamahome: Miaka!!??  
  
Hotohori: My name is.my name is.Hooooooo-toooooo-hoooooo-riiiiiiiiiii! (His subjects back off)  
  
Nakago: Tamahome has garlic breath! Kissing him was like licking a garlic stick.  
  
Tasuki: Up, up, and away! (Jumps up in the air but forgets he can't fly)  
  
Yui: Hehehehahahahahaeeeek! (Giggles as she reads the 'Slayers' comic book)  
  
(I couldn't see her doing that)  
  
Miaka: Shinjaho! Shinjaho! Shinjaho!!  
  
Miaka's Mum: Jonan is too good for my wittle girl!  
  
Carrot: Dude, wrong comic! Nuriko: Ohhh, he's cute! (Glomp) Carrot: HUH?!  
  
Genbu: Hey, wazzup Byakku?!! Byakku: Dude, what's going down? Suzaku: Hey my homies! Seiryu: What's up in dis biatch!  
  
Tamahome: I wonder what Pops is doing? (Guess what Tamahome? Pops is actually out drinking with a couple of beach bunnies...just kidding)  
  
Mitsukake: Oh my gawd! You killed Kenny!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome.I'm tired of waiting.take me now! Tamahome: 0_o  
  
Chichiri: Oh no! Now I have to go to the store and get a whole new box of plastic face stuff! (Sigh)  
  
Nuriko: Dude, I'm pink!  
  
Nakago: Women aren't worth it! Men are more fun! (I love dissing Nakago with the gay stuff so forgive me if you like him)  
  
Miboshi: This is my body now and there's nothing- wait! - I'm a girl! Ewww!  
  
Chiriko: (Choke) H-H-Help! Mitskake: Chiriko! (Starts hitting his back) Chiriko: I was just joking!  
  
Soy: Nakago? Do you love me? Say you do honey-buns, sugar-lumps, unny-bunny- muffy-wuffen! You gotta wuv wittle, sexy, Soy-kinns. Admit your eternal, unfailing, eternal, everlasting, lovely, love to wittle meeeee!  
  
Amiboshi: 'A' is for awesome! 'M' is for.money! 'I' is for Irresistible! 'B' is for beautiful which is meeeee! 'O' is for.er.oranges! 'S' is for sexy! 'H' is for handsome! And last but not least! 'I' is for Intimate! Cause I am an emotional talker! And the girls love me too!  
  
Suboshi: I refuse to sing that song! I'll just do sub! 'S' is for seductive! 'U' is for unreal! And 'B' is for beautiful! Done.now go away!  
  
Tasuki: Girls??  
  
Yui: I hate you Miaka! Miaka: Yeah yeah! (Pinches Yui's cheek)  
  
Chichiri: Dude, where's your car! Tasuki: Dude, where's my car? Chichiri: Dude, where's your car? Tasuki: Dude, where's my car! Chichiri: Dude, where's your car? Tasuki: What's a car?  
  
Time out! (I just wanted to know.do you know how many times Miaka says Tamahome's name...it's like even when he says hello she has to say. "Tamahome" It's so annoying.) Time in!  
  
Chichiri, Tasuki and Tamahome: We're the Z Team! (Dressed up as DBZ Characters)  
  
Nakago: Hug a tree!  
  
Byakku: Did you ever realize we get to have sex with our own priestess'? Seiryu: (Gasp) Genbu: DUDE! Suzaku: I never realized!  
  
Tamahome: One kid.two kid.three kid.four kid.five kid.aw, come on kids! I lost count! (Cammy Girl: Ya think they'll have that many kids??!! 0_o)  
  
Tasuki: My name is Green beans! Get it right! Er..?  
  
Chiriko: Carrot's are good for your eyes! Can you dial a phone with em? (Scene from Ed, Edd, and Eddy.pardon me)  
  
Soy: Nakago? I wanna be a pro wrestler.I must leave your bed for one our..  
  
Yui: I AM SAILOR URANUS! (No you're not)  
  
Nuriko: The Nuriko says, 'know your role and shut your mouth!' (ROCKY!!)  
  
Mitskake: Ohhhhh, it's a baby! Lookit dose wittle cheekies!  
  
Chichiri: I'm a nun- I mean! (Thinks) Monk! Yeah that's it! Mooooonnk! Tasuki: (Utter silence) I.(sniff) I.like.girls! (Starts crying)  
  
Miboshi: I'm special!  
  
Amiboshi + Suboshi: We're like so identical.we're both Gemini's!!! 


	3. Things You Would Never Hear On Harry Pot...

H Things you would never hear on Harry Potter  
  
Harry: I know a song that gets on Snape's nerves, on Snape's nerves, on Snape's nerves, I know a song that gets on Snape's nerves and this is how it goes.I know a song that gets on Snape's nerves..  
  
Ron: Ewww, it's pink!  
  
Hermione: Chicken slippers!  
  
Quarrel: I-I-I think t-t-t-t-that I-I-I-I-I-I m-m-m-might be c-c-c-coming d- d-d-down with s-s-s-s-something!  
  
Lavender: Der der der der  
  
Seamus: I've always wanted to be a partisan..  
  
Lily: James? Hell no I won't get it on with you!  
  
James: Oh, back to the sorting hat!  
  
Sirius: My name is like, so much better than yours!! *pokepoke*  
  
Remus: (No not my puppy Remus) Ahhhh! Sailor MOON!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! (Get it? Moon? Remus? Moon + Remus = werewolf)  
  
Wormtail: Can I do something for that bump on your ass?  
  
Voldemort: You must find.a shrubbery!! Wormtail: Yes, my lord! Voldemort: One that looks nice! Wormtail: Of course! Voldemort: Not too expensive! Wormtail: Whatever you want. Voldemort: Nooooow, GO!!  
  
Fred: What are you doing George? George: Making an Anti-mischief banner! Fred: Um, Yay!  
  
Mad-Eye Moody: Vigilance is the weakness of humanity!!! Vigilance-er-I mean.go Red Socks!  
  
Hermione: DUST?  
  
Ron: We're going to get in trouble! (I am sorry but I hear Hermione say that too much)  
  
Lee: I wanna take you to.Y-M-C-Aaaaaa! Duh na na na na nu! Fred + George: Er.  
  
Snape: Maybe there's more to life than being really, really, really, really, ridiculously, really good looking. Remus: Ha ha!  
  
Sirius: (Looks at Harry) My, my! Another mouth to feed!  
  
Ginny: No want Harry anymore! I want Seamus! (Glomps Seamus)  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Oh for Crêpes sake it looks fine to me.just a grindylow clinging onto your head isn't all that bad!  
  
Charley Weasley: Who's Crêpes?  
  
Bill: Get down! Get waaaaay down!! (Starts dancing)  
  
Fluffy: (All three heads) Ruff ruff ruafff grrrrr bark bark! Translation: I hate that frickin harp!!  
  
Fluffy#1: You know I don't like being attached to you anymore! Fluffy#2: Me either you smell like wet dog! Fluffy3#: You snore too loudly! Fluffy#2: I do not! Fluffy#1: Yes, you do!  
  
Fluer: No I do not want to touch your grindylow Professor.  
  
Harry: (Under the water thinking who to save first) Who should I save first? Get Ron.Hermione.Ginny (She's annoying) Fluer's sister? (I don't know her) Hermione? (She reads to much) Ron? (What the hell!) Neville: I will face my fears and I shall go into the boys bathroom.naked!!  
  
Remus: I've cannot seem to locate my grindylow! (Something moves in his pants) Eh? *blush* (I ask forgiveness for this one because it really shows Remus' true sexual feelings toward his grindylows ^_^) JUST KIDDING  
  
Dumbledore: (Eating some Bertie Botts then throws it at a student and keels over laughing) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Maxime: Dumbly-dore!!! Can you sleep with me! Hagrid: 0_o Er.. Dumbledore: X,X Meep!!  
  
Death Eater#1: I once heard that Voldemort sucks.. Death Eater#2: What? What are you babbling about? Death Eater#3: I bet he sucks Wormtail! Death Eater#2: (Slaps Death Eater#3) *sniff* Shame on you for talking about Lord Voldemort like that!! (Hears moaning noises in the other room) All the Death Eaters: .......... 0_o .......  
  
Hagrid: I worship Satan's son, Nicky.  
  
Ginny: Harry Potter! Who is Harry Potter? Harry Potter isn't the boy over there! (He actually is) I don't know any Harry Potter.  
  
Bill: I'm.too sexy for PANTS!!! (Takes off his pants)  
  
Lavender: I worship the almighty mountain troll, slickproximosustanicatrasickokoromeydeckseela, the great.  
  
Neville: I've got a lovely bunch a coconuts! Diddly diddly diddly do!  
  
Ron: They're is a rabbit up me bosom!!  
  
Er, I'm out of idea's. If everyone likes it I'll make a part two!! End!! 


	4. Things You Would Never Hear On Harry Pot...

~ Things You Would Never Hear On Harry Potter 2 ~  
  
Hagrid: Ohmygawd! Where did this porn magazine come from??  
  
Harry: I have squirrels in my pants.  
  
Snape: Now, I want everyone to know that I am a dunderhead and I know nothing more than telling you wonderful children to do as I tell you to make myself feel better.  
  
Lupin: Ooooh, I see a grindylow!! (jumps into lake) ((What a git he can be))  
  
Hermione: SCREW SCHOOL!!! SCREW IT RIGHT UP THE ARS!!  
  
Ron: (walks out with purple hair) Yo, this was the freshest look in da' book, yo!  
  
Ginny: I am.super woman!  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Stupid Harry Potter! I can't afford feeding you like this. Go back to the farking Dursley's where you belong.  
  
Fang: Bark.. (well.I have nothing to say about this)  
  
(Must I remind the readers that I am insane and if you don't like this I will eat your eye out with a cereal spoon.thank you for your time)  
  
Dumbledore: Stupid children, *grumble* Grr, I could have been an astronaut. But noooo, I gave that up for a bunch of children.  
  
Lavender: I am dreading that my pants will fall down soon. (drop) Uh, my dialogue is not funny at all. I want my lawyer.  
  
Neville: I deserve better dialogue!! I'll sue.suuuuuuuuuue!!! (goes insane while he smooshes Trevor between his chubby finger tips)  
  
Bill: Where did my fishy gooooo?  
  
Mr. Weasley: (dances in a pink tutu and sings phantom of the opera theme song) ((Need I say more?))  
  
Fudge: Arrgggh!!! *groan* I can't..do it!! I can't.get..aaaghhhh!!! Give me the darn winter fresh gum already.  
  
Trelawney: I am an idiot and I like smelling people's toes. Harry: *huff* no really?  
  
Percy: And where do I stick this Penny???  
  
Bill: Slumber party!!! (well, he might say that.I don't know)  
  
Fred: I am lord of the chickens!!!  
  
George: I am going to start thinking about my future education..  
  
Dobby: Dobby has come to invite Harry Potter to lingerie party. Harry: O_o  
  
Cedric: Let's get this shit on Harry Pot-head!!!  
  
Mcgonagall: Prepare for pre-P.M.S. attack!!!  
  
Hagrid: I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK! I sleep all night and I work all day!! ((Cackle))  
  
Sirius: I control your nipples!!! (I seriously apologize for this. My friend did this dedicated to the Invader Zim slash with Zim and Dib. Read it, it's hilarious! Remember.Sirius controls your nipples!!!!)  
  
Pettigrew: Ohmygawd! I have to point with my middle finger. I am so stupid!! (Point) I did it again! No.one will notice. Yeah, no one will notice.  
  
Dark evil voice: The ring wants its master.the ring wants its master. Sauron + Voldemort: What do you want? Voldemort: Hey.you're not in this volume! Get out! Sauron: *huffy breath* I go where I please.. Voldemort: WORMTAIL!!! Death-Eater: Oh.my gawd! Guess what? Death-Eater#2: Like.what!! Death-Eater: I like.got my crusty toe nails painted! Death-Eater + Death-Eater#2: *SQUEALS*  
  
Ron: Why is your butt in my face? (random, no?)  
  
Hermione: *belch* THERE IT IS AGAIN. THE BURPING, FLYING, INVISIBLE SPIDER!!  
  
Malfoy: One plus one equals one on a bun! Duuuh.  
  
Crabbe: Ow, stop hitting me behind master Malfoy! (Ew..who did this perverse dialogue.it's funny ^_^)  
  
Goyle: Yo, dawg! That's some ill shit yer' got dere' Malfoy. ((Thug-ish))  
  
Snape: I need a girlfriend.*heavy sigh*  
  
Flitwick: Remember girls.shaving off your pubic hair, will not rid you of crab infestation. ((ONCE AGAIN.I apologize, this was not me. Just a really perverted person who should not be here.I will bite him now))  
  
Mrs. Weasley: What would you like for dinner Ron? Ron: Pork-butts and taders!! Mrs. Weasley: This is the muggles fault. If he hadn't been hanging around them he wouldn't have gone stupid!  
  
Fluer: I've always wanted to know, what do you exactly MEAN by grindylow?  
  
James: Lily smells like ocean sewage. *Smack* Er, I mean ocean breeze.when polluted. *Smack* Ow!  
  
Maxime: Stupid Hagrid. Stop looking at me. I'm too much for you to handle! Ron: You got that right.  
  
Filch: Now Mrs. Norris. Try to be nicer to the little children today. Trelawney: I have visions, visions of.ew! Oh my dear god.what--Dumbledore? What the hell is he wearing! Oh my delicate eyes!! Aaaaahhhh!  
  
Ollivander: Who are you again. (He's too smart and all-knowing to say that. He should have a bigger dialogue. Therefore, he is my right hand man writing this. He's so smart!!)  
  
Malfoy: Apply slimy shit to greasy hair.  
  
Remus: Not to long ago, I was dating this girl.and she was like, 'hi'. And I was like, 'hi' back. We went out and we ate dinner.then she was like, 'you're paying right?' I was like.'no, you asked me out.' Then she like got all mad.and she walked away. I got to do dishes! ((I know this isn't very funny but.who cares))  
  
Parvarti: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! *squeals* ((If I was there.I would have shot her))  
  
(Did you know when I was typing this, I wrote in Parvarti's name and it said on spell check.Pervert. Haha! And just know when I did Parvarti's name.it said.Pervert's.HAHA! God I'm bored.)  
  
Ron: Cheesamuffins!!!  
  
Voldemort: Come over to the dark side..I have peanuts.  
  
Dementor: Want a kiss little girl. I use winter fresh.  
  
Lockhart: I am..morbid angel!!! Snape: Stupid.I'm more morbid than you will ever be, you prancing, skipping, dunderhead of a thousand fools that wears pink and eats heart shaped cookies, and smells like cotton candy, and.sod off!  
  
Mcgonagall: Potter, I will make you head boy and let you do whatever you wish.even go into places so unknown they're forbidden even to the faculty, and I will give you many points even when not earned. All I ask.is you hook me up with Remus. Remus: (A far, far place away from Hogwarts) *sneeze* Someone's talking about me. Lily: What do you see Professor? Trelawney: I see you.and James. You will have a baby that will be known as Harry Potter, the boy who lived. You shall die protecting him after many years, James will die too. Harry will be un-loved until Hagrid finds him.and takes him here later. You're.still dead. Lily: That went right over my head.repeat it please? (obviously not paying attention) Trelawney: You're going to grow another head.  
  
Percy: YOU ARE SO NOT HARDCORE!!!  
  
Neville: Fear me all those who fears short, chubby, stupid, annoying little boys.  
  
Cho: Oh Harry, you're just not boyfriend material. Harry: I'm famous. Cho: Okay, you convinced me.  
  
Seamus: Oh my dear god! It's rum!!!  
  
Quarrel: *Tarzan-like yell* I am Quarrel, King of Jungle!  
  
Sirius: Harry, you look just like your father, and god you need a facial.  
  
Charlie: Romania is pwetty, so are the dragons. I am going to act like I know what I am doing.  
  
Dudley: Harry, you are so beautiful.  
  
Mrs. Dursley: I'm going to divorce my husband and live off the benfits of becoming an old hag. Harry will receive everything in the event of my death. Harry: Hurrah! (What's she got that Harry needs?)  
  
last one.almost there..  
  
Harry Potter: Run away.it's-it's- it's Snape dressed in drag!!!! 


End file.
